Holiday times can be a particularly difficult time for parents when they are newly separated. The RMB Family Law Division provides some tips on how to smooth out potential rough spots.
Each family has its own holiday traditions and expectations which are often difficult to work around, and these complexities are often compounded by separation.
To help newly separated parents navigate this unchartered territory, here are some tips for approaching co-parenting during the holiday season.
1. Plan well ahead
Start the discussion about the holiday period months in advance. Take the time to communicate clearly with your ex-spouse as to your expectations and come up with a clear plan which provides for exactly how you are going to approach each major situation. Where are the children going to be each day? Who are the children going to be with? When will you effect changeover? What time? Where? Do they need to pack an overnight bag? The clearer your plan is, the less likely you are to come across friction.
2. Put your plan on paper
Whether you set up a shared document, exchange emails, or write it down on a piece of paper, reducing the plan to writing helps to eliminate miscommunication.
3. Be flexible and be realistic
Be open to the possibility that unforeseen circumstances may arise and open to changing the plan if necessary. Remember to keep the best interests of the children in mind and avoid forcing an arrangement that is not practical.
4. Share responsibilities
There are financial and time-consuming responsibilities which come with holiday times. Try to take an equitable approach to meeting the costs of gifts for the children, and consider whether your changeover arrangements are requiring one parent to undertake substantially more driving than the other, for example.
5. Focus on quality time
Remember, your children want to spend quality time with you, and this will always be more valuable than an expensive gift. It will not assist you to co-parent with your ex-spouse if the holiday period becomes characterized by competition.
6. Find joy in the holidays and establish new traditions
While your pre-separation traditions may no longer exist, this does not mean that you cannot establish new ones! Take the opportunity to establish new traditions in your new co-parenting structure.
If you need guidance and support to assist you with your parenting arrangements following separation, you can contact our office by phone on Freecall 1800 681 211 for a consultation, or use our 'Ask a Question' tool on our website.